Having a crush is rough.
You can silently pine for them, confess your feelings and risk rejection, or pack up and move to another state. Pretty limited options, if you ask us. Luckily, nobody knows more about risking it all in the name of love than the inhabitants of Hogwarts. We know there was way more going on within those walls than practicing spells for Charms class. (Looking at you, Lavender Brown.)
Here’s how characters from our favorite series would handle the most grueling of wizardly-trials: asking out your crush.
Ron Weasley:
Oh, this is easy. Approach your crush, ask them out, and then run away before they have a chance to answer. If they like you, they’ll find you and say “Yes!” If they don’t, you never have to face the rejection. Brilliant!
Hermione Granger:
When in doubt about how to ask out your crush, do what Hermione would do: go to the library. Surely, there will be a book that can help you tailor your invitation to your crush’s specific interests. Or you can forget your crush, find a book instead, and rest assured that some muscle-bound stud will eventually fall for your intelligence, your unconventional beauty, and the alluring way you ignore them.
Albus Dumbledore:
Everyone’s path is different; everyone’s lessons unique.
Hagrid:
“La vie est un sommeil, l’amour en est le rêve, et vous aurez vécu, si vous avez aimé.” Life is sleep, whose dream is love. You will have lived, if you have loved, according to Alfred de Musset. Hagrid would be the first to tell you that if you are in love, you must shower your soul mate with presents, affection, and your knowledge of (and proximity to) dangerous beasts.
Molly Weasley:
Knit them a sweater with your phone number on the front! That way they’ll think of you every time they’re feeling cozy.
Harry Potter:
Being suave may not be his strong suit, but he always trusts his gut, so act in the moment and don’t worry what anyone thinks. Trust yourself one hundred percent. Or you could always use the Patronus Charm and conjure a magical guardian that is a projection of your most positive feelings. Let your Patronus do the heavy lifting.
Draco Malfoy:
Simply tell them who your father is. Duh.
Neville Longbottom:
The old Neville would say “just don’t.” Avoid putting yourself out there at all costs. But the new Neville would advise you to approach your crush with an ironclad will, courage, and a noble spirit. Then explain your feelings, how your heart beats only for them. If they are not swayed by the strength of your character, then they are not for you. In that case, move on.
Snape:
Do nothing. Love them forever.
Lavender Brown:
Seriously, has nobody recommended Amortentia, the strongest love potion in existence?
Luna Lovegood:
You could just talk to them, you know? Sometimes it feels like Luna is the only one who really knows what’s going on.
Professor McGonagall:
You must speak directly and infallibly to your crush. Say it exactly like it is: I like you and we are going on a date. This is serious business. Do not play around.
Dolores Umbridge:
Whatever Harry told you is wrong.
Dobby:
Be free to share how you really feel!
